:D
(http://www.willstdubestimmtnichtwissen.de/data/media/28/Lustige8.jpg)
:siflotte:
:D
A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
:siflotte:
:ptdr: :ptdr: :ptdr: :ptdr:
Armageddon was yesterday. Today we have a serious problem ... :electric:
:D
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_mpAa4FyBS4Y/TM-Z3GbF_oI/AAAAAAAAAGY/k8lqWRbEsMg/s400/dumb_donkey.jpg)
:siflotte:
Another one...
:D
(http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/print/2010/1/diesel_stupid_lion.jpg)
:siflotte:
:D
This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat.
His wife said, "Where are you going ? "
He said, "I'm going to the doctor. "
And she said, "Why? Are you sick? "
"No, he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new
Viagra pills. "
So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting
on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going? "
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too. "
He said, "Why? "
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty
old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot. "
:siflotte:
:D
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
:siflotte:
:D
Genie joke
A woman is walking along a beach when she finds an old oil lamp.
She picks it up and rubs it, and out comes a genie.
The genie says to the woman, "Thank you for freeing me from the oil lamp.
I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your horrible ex-husband will get twice as much. What is your first wish?"
The woman says, "I'd like a million dollars in my bank account, please!"
The genie says, "You now have a million dollars in your bank account,
and your ex-husband now has two million dollars. What is your second wish?"
The woman says, "I've always wanted a nice car. I'd like a brand new
Rolls-Royce, please!"
The genie says, "You now have a new Rolls-Royce in your garage
at home, and your ex-husband now has two new Rolls-Royces.
What is your third wish?"
The woman thought for a while and then said, "I'd like you to remove one
of my kidneys, please!"
:siflotte:
Let's get motivated to crunch on Simap... :gniak: :gniak:
:D
(http://www.jokeoverflow.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/thats-crazy-e1314173314334.jpg)
:siflotte:
The end of the world was cancelled for Portugal, we have no money for such a big event...
:D
(http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/stupid-moments.jpg)
:siflotte:
:D
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-c90NbsC1WuU/TZ4cQvj7Z_I/AAAAAAAAARc/7f_nKFDLi7Q/s1600/blondes-dumb-blonde-demotivational-poster-1260081209.jpg)
:siflotte:
:lol:
:D
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn't I tell you he was stupid?"
:siflotte:
:D
(http://www.swami.de/joke-Dateien/Monalisa.jpg)
:sun:
One week after returning to the Italian husband.
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WfTKTs5D9Q4/TtLKEpp89YI/AAAAAAAADHI/EdbrJdQCS5c/s1600/Mona+Lisa.jpg)
:D
(http://www.deepdotweb.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/funny-fails-28.jpg)
:siflotte:
:lol:
:D
(http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Airbags.jpg)
:siflotte:
:D
(http://imfunny.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Meanwhile-funny-England.jpg)
:siflotte:
typically British sense of humour :siflotte: ;)
(http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/038/5/4/meanwhile_in_portugal_by_hermanelig-d4oy6a0.jpg)
(http://assets.meanwhilein.org/hashed_silo_content/5e5/cf0/277/resized/meanwhile-in-portugal-550511.jpg)
:??: Mhh Ricardo, I know only Woman from Portugal same her :
(http://www.soccer-training-info.com/images/portugal_girl.jpg)
:D
(http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/funny-photoshop-fail.jpg)
:siflotte:
:D
Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
:siflotte:
:D
(http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/B/7/5/pope-sith-jokes.jpg)
:siflotte: