Author Topic: Fun, Jokes and more ...  (Read 11077 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline SEARCHER

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 1164
Fun, Jokes and more ...
« on: 07 January 2012 à 16:29:36 »
 :D Hello Folks,

let´s have a little bit Fun and make Party same here :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGy6txj8FQ0

 :clafete: Remi Rules !!!

 :sun: SEARCHER
Member of Charity Team

Offline SEARCHER

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 1164
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #1 on: 08 January 2012 à 07:53:54 »
  :D Hi Folks,

Girls Night Out

 Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you !

 :sun:  SEARCHER
Member of Charity Team

Offline JeromeC

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 85
  • [Le_Pommier]
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #2 on: 08 January 2012 à 08:40:18 »
 :lol:

Offline Duke of Buckingham SETI.USA

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 142
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #3 on: 08 January 2012 à 20:16:58 »
Irish Bad News



Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in Monaghan's flat in Dungarvan when Sean O'Toole loses €700 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.  Michael Lennon looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone's got to tell Sean's wife. Who will it be?'

They draw straws.   Cavan Colquhoun picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse.' Discreet? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet.  Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me.' announces Cavan.

He goes over to O'Toole's house and knocks on the door.
Brenda O'Toole answers and asks what he wants. Cavan declares: 'Your husband just lost €700 and is afraid to come home.'

'Tell him to drop dead!' snarls Brenda.'  I'll go tell him.' says Cavan.

Offline aendgraend

  • Administrateur
  • Charity Cruncher
  • *****
  • Posts: 59
  • SETI.Germany
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #4 on: 08 January 2012 à 21:03:55 »
 :biglol:

Offline modesti

  • Administrateur
  • Charity Cruncher
  • *****
  • Posts: 460
  • dernière licorne
    • Forum des Electrons Libres de l'AF
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #5 on: 08 January 2012 à 22:41:25 »
Excellent! :lol:
Last Unicorn of L'Alliance Francophone
---
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity and other variables, the computer will do as it damn well pleases. (Harvard's Law, as Applied to Computers)

Offline SEARCHER

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 1164
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #6 on: 09 January 2012 à 07:30:49 »
 :biglol: Great Duke   :ptdr:

 :jap: SEARCHER
Member of Charity Team

Offline SEARCHER

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 1164
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #7 on: 10 January 2012 à 07:33:18 »
 :D Hi Folks,

Bra types

 A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk. Confused, the man asked what were the types. The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?" Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?" The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.

 :sun: SEARCHER
Member of Charity Team

Offline modesti

  • Administrateur
  • Charity Cruncher
  • *****
  • Posts: 460
  • dernière licorne
    • Forum des Electrons Libres de l'AF
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #8 on: 10 January 2012 à 07:39:24 »
:ptdr:
Last Unicorn of L'Alliance Francophone
---
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity and other variables, the computer will do as it damn well pleases. (Harvard's Law, as Applied to Computers)

Offline Duke of Buckingham SETI.USA

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 142
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #9 on: 10 January 2012 à 12:42:25 »
Nice ...  :hap:

Offline Duke of Buckingham SETI.USA

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 142
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #10 on: 10 January 2012 à 16:17:12 »
Can You Help Me?

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

Offline cottesloe

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 10
  • Alliance Francophone MT Libristes
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #11 on: 10 January 2012 à 18:22:16 »
 :lol:
Very smart, isn't it?

"Je sers la science et c'est ma joie" Disciplus Simplex
Boinceur sous Ubuntu 11.10 64 bits et 12.04 Alpha1
2 Intel Core 2 Duo 8400 3GHz + 3 GPU NVIDIA GeForce GT240, 9500GT et 8800GT

Offline cottesloe

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 10
  • Alliance Francophone MT Libristes
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #12 on: 10 January 2012 à 18:31:21 »

Two very old women, friends of long time, take tea. One says to another:
- You remember when we had 20 years. We wanted to look like Brigitte Bardot
- Yes, we were young ...
- Well now it's done, we are like her!

 :siflotte:

"Je sers la science et c'est ma joie" Disciplus Simplex
Boinceur sous Ubuntu 11.10 64 bits et 12.04 Alpha1
2 Intel Core 2 Duo 8400 3GHz + 3 GPU NVIDIA GeForce GT240, 9500GT et 8800GT

Offline JeromeC

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 85
  • [Le_Pommier]
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #13 on: 10 January 2012 à 23:15:45 »
Correct, the only star it's easy to look like :D

Offline Duke of Buckingham SETI.USA

  • Charity Cruncher
  • ***
  • Posts: 142
Re : Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #14 on: 11 January 2012 à 00:24:24 »
Employer to applicant: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.”
Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”



Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”
The applicant said, “In the neighborhood of $ 125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years – say, a red Corvette?”
The applicant sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”



When you hire people that are smarter than you are, you prove you are smarter than they are.