Author Topic: Fun, Jokes and more ...  (Read 10480 times)

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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #15 on: 17 January 2015 à 08:09:52 »



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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #16 on: 18 January 2015 à 07:31:19 »
 :D Hi Folks,


Can You Help Me ?

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."


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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #17 on: 18 January 2015 à 07:32:53 »



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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #18 on: 18 January 2015 à 09:17:16 »
rhooooooooooooooo :D
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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #19 on: 19 January 2015 à 13:12:44 »
:D Hi Folks,


Jokes For Blondes

There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.

God says, "There are 3,000 steps and I'll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."

So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.

Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.

On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn't laugh and proceeds to the gate.

Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, "what are you laughing about?", so she replies, "I just got the first joke!".


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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #20 on: 19 January 2015 à 13:14:35 »



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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #21 on: 20 January 2015 à 13:01:51 »
 :D Hi Folks,


I've Had A Course In First Aid
 
It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy
intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman
rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man
emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right
honey, I've had a course in first aid."
The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and
prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped
him on the shoulder and said,
"When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."


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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #22 on: 20 January 2015 à 13:04:54 »



Oh Yeah, my Baby


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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #23 on: 21 January 2015 à 13:22:10 »
 :D Hi Folks,


Nothing On From The Waist Down
 
A man came walking up to his grandparent's house when he noticed his
grandfather sitting on the porch, in a rocking chair, with nothing on
from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in
the distance without answering.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the
waist?" he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out
here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's
idea."


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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #24 on: 21 January 2015 à 13:23:28 »



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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #25 on: 22 January 2015 à 13:15:51 »
 :D Hi Folks,


The Camels
 
The little camel asks his mother:
Mum why do we have these big humps?
Because in these hump there is some water and in the hot desert we can
drink.
And mum. Why do we have this large fur?
Because the dessert at night is so cold and then we don't feel cold.
And mum. Why do we got these big hoofs.
Because the desert the sand is hot and the hoofs save us from the hot
sand.
But mum. What the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?


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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #26 on: 22 January 2015 à 13:17:09 »



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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #27 on: 23 January 2015 à 14:17:00 »
 :D Hi Folks,


The Chauffeur

One day the Pope is coming to America in his Limo and he said to the
driver, "Why don't you let me drive for ones."
The driver thinks to him self, "Well I can't say no to this guy, he's
the pope." So the driver pulls over and they change places. The Pope was
having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while
the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "slow down a bit, you
might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "ahhh, don't worry about it, I'm the Pope." So he rolls
up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments he
gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car and the Pope rolls down the
tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can
you hold on a minute."
The Pope says, "sure"
The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says,
"guys I just pulled over some one really important."
They ask who, "The President?."
"No more important."
"The president of another country."
"No more important."
"An ambassador."
"No even more important."
"Well who is it."
"I don't know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."


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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #28 on: 23 January 2015 à 14:19:05 »



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Re: Fun, Jokes and more ...
« Reply #29 on: 24 January 2015 à 08:07:59 »
 :D Hi Folks,


Smack
 
In a train carriage there were 4 people, an Englishman, a Frenchman, a
spectacular looking blonde and a really ugly woman.
After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark
tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the
tunnel, the Frenchman had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
The blonde thought - "That French son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by
mistake, he must have put his hand on the ugly woman, who in turn must have slapped his face"
The ugly woman thought - "That dirty old Frenchman laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
The Frenchman thought - "That f*****g Englishman put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".
The Englishman thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack
that French twat again".


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