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Fun, Jokes and more

Started by SEARCHER, 23 December 2021 à 10:52:17

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SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."


:D SEARCHER
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SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word.
She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"


:D  SEARCHER
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SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!"
A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam."
The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish.
The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way."
He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish.
He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!"


:D  SEARCHER
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SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.


:D  SEARCHER
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SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team

SEARCHER

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish.
The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing.
This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically.
By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground.
When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again."


:D  SEARCHER
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SEARCHER

Member of Charity Team